PTSD and ADHD

I had been suffering a severe bi-polar episode. Fortunately I have calmed down. I got home extremely late last night, and I wanted to pull my hair out because of the ineptitude of my roommate. I drove us home last night, which is a common occurrence given that he is often very tired, and really too sleepy to drive safely, and my insomnia (even before Hellmont), keeps me pretty wide eyed and bushy tailed until wee morning hours.

He needed some allergy medication, and OTC, that I take, so he took some from my medication purse...  Yes, sadly I have a little, well not too little purse, for all of my medications that I take on a scheduled time. So he took some. Once we arrived home I over looked that the bag was still in the car, thinking he had it, because I had no idea where he had put it after taking the loratidine.

My roommate had the gall to be angry at me that I somehow forget the medications in the car, when I didn't even know where the hell he had left them! I nearly collapsed outside trying to retrieve them, I was in so much pain. He was upset with me that I had failed to get it from his car, and had to wake him up as I was putting things in place in my room (as I was starving and put water to boil on the stove first, and got noodles), and noticed they were missing, and he hadn't taken them with my backpack. How on earth was I supposed to know where he put them?! His immaturity is just so annoying at times, because he is generally so intelligent.

He has such a short fuse when it comes to me, though. Anything I might say or do can make him quickly snap at me. It finally got so bad that I left my guild in World of Warcraft because I felt so stressed being in there with him. The anxiety was too much for me to bear.

I was able to speak to him about the WoW thing, but as he is at work right now, I have not yet been able to discuss what happened last night, or well early this morning. Perhaps next time I just shouldn't let him touch my things.

So yesterday was a generally nice day. There is a young man who is from out of state who comes to the arcade nearly daily who has taken a liking to me. Unfortunately his liking is a bit too much, I can see the jealousy he has when other guys talk to me and it bothers me a lot. He also is extremely sexual so we definitely would not be compatible dating.

I am not sure how to say, hey dude, I have PTSD from severe sexual abuse nearly most of my life, so yeah, I don't think this'll work. He is also very immature, too, which I have witnessed and heard first hand and before my eyes.

There were two guys who did not seem to be immature creeps who did seem to take a liking to me though. One actually likes Blazblue! The other I did not get to speak to for very long, but it is more likely that I might get more of a date with him perhaps to get to know him better, and I am sure that I could pull him into the scene.

It is frustrating that my anxiety has to go up and down throughout the day and night, for days. I really do not handle it well. Yesterday the pain was very bad. I casually played with several people, but the pain broke through my facade of me just having some minor ailment that makes me use a cane. I've had to take my Dilaudid yesterday and today just to not go and crawl up to the freeway and let a semi truck hit me.

At least there are amusing things to see. While writing this post I got very distracted, damn ADHD, and wound up watching leaked My Little Pony movie footage, but it took much work to get it. It was very enjoyable. It is one thing that I really like, because it is so happy and innocent I suppose. So mentions of yesterday are actually of Friday, lol. I started this post at 2PM, it is now after 2AM....