Lerner Rowe and FML

6.19

Today was a BIG day for me; a lawyer's office was going to call me and help me re-apply for SSDI or SSI. AGAIN. This office was different. It was motivated to really help me! Unfortunately about thirty minutes ago they called, and about fifteen minutes ago I ended the call intears, because it was completely pointless.

A friend asked me what the name 'Neptune Fallen' was from, or if it meant something, once. It is not from anything in particular, but it does mean something to me. Neptune is also known as Pluto, and was seen as the god of the underworld, or even heaven in ancient times. Also sometimes Neptune was viewed as the god of the waters, seas, and rivers. Neptune fallen is literally a depiction of a fallen god, of the heavens and or the seas. Especially today.

-Cops arrive and interrupt me writing.-

Then forty five minutes after they called the cops leave... Lovely. Where was I? Um, yes, the person at the lawyer's office who is helping me is a fucking idiot... I was beginning to feel better, but now I want to throw something hard against concrete and watch it break...

"Your claim is still active, he wants you to know that," the cop told me. No, not the claim from before, but the claim that I haven't even begun... The claim that is upsetting me. The claim that I haven't even gotten a chance to explain in my blog why it is upsetting me, because cops literally burst into my home and interrupted me! Ugh! I suppose he is a kind guy, and means very well, but his intelligence is something that is really lacking from the little I've dealt with him. Reminding me of the woman from Fry's and the cop Jams dealt with.

So I hear a firm knock at the door, and I assume that it is probably someone of the family I rent from, asking something from me, or notifying me of something... and I open the door to, a buncha cops. The cherry on top is that Maria Sr. the crazy Spanish speaking-only grandma is here, along with the army uncle who is nearly stalkerish in how much he follows people online, including me. Hope he likes this post, he isn't bad looking tbh, and is actually pretty cool and fun to hang out with.

I nearly run outside to the front yard, out of earshot of everyone inside, so we can talk there. Even if I had a giant room that could fit dozens inside, with how thin our walls are, I would choose the same spot. Immediately, but delicately, I am asked how am I doing, and I totally bomb it.

"I'm not doing too well," I blurted out, sitting on the grass, picking at some shoots. "I uh, well my back is hurting, I tweaked it trying to rush out here... But I am feeling better emotionally than I was. I had called a crisis line."

"Alright," the cop replied, I assume happy I admitted that I'd called a suicide help line. I wasn't going to try to pretend that I was totally happy for the last few hours. "Did you tell anyone in the last few hours that you would hurt yourself?"

"Uhhh... yeah on the crisis line, I had pills in my hand, and I was wanting to take them," I answered frankly, glancing nervously up a couple times. "After several minutes I was feeling better and didn't feel like that anymore."

The cop looked almost as if a fish had crawled out of a fish bowl and run away or something. I guess he wasn't used to people just admitting things so plainly. So he asked me more questions like about me hurting myself in the past.

"I used to, a long time ago. You can see scars on my arms, but it's been well over a year since I've actually done it. I might have urges, but I've not actually hurt myself in a long time." I explained.

"Yeah... I can see some of the scars," he glanced at my arms and gestured with a finger at the pale slices intermixed with the slightly darker skin. "When was the last time you did that?"

I scoffed slightly nearly a laugh, "Pff.... I don't even remember it's been so long," I shook my head. "Before I moved here, and I've been here a year."

"Okay," he nodded. I'd been very frank, he seemed to believe me so far, or at least seem to think I was being mostly truthful. My scars obviously are not from days ago, but do look like they could be weeks old I will admit. "Have you ever been to a mental health facility?"

"Like a clinic... or?"

"Like admitted. Have you been to Hillmont?" he asks this. I shudder and the cops notice my reaction. I laugh loudly.

"Yeah, I've been to Hillmont," I answer with a grin, "One of the last times I was there I needed to get my gallbladder out, they were giving me liquid antacid, as soon as I was released I had to rush to Santa Paula for emergency surgery. Hellmont just let it fester inside me. No offense to them, but that wasn't the first time they've injured my physical health. They make me worse than I feel, hehehe." I chuckle and shake my head.

"What about ....?" They mention a place I'd never been.

"Nope, I've never been there... and I was feeling depressed earlier, and I have been feeling down off and on recently. My psychiatrist lowered my dose of one of my meds, I wouldn't be against being admitted to a facility if it weren't Hillmont." I replied.

Again the cops stared at me as if I'd grown a third eyeball or something. I was just being so mellow.

"Heh I bet I could also get a shower, too!" I added with a grin.

"You can't get one here?" the younger male who's been silent asks.

"Uh.... nope," I answer, my voice still friendly, with a smile.

"Why not?" the main officer asks me, his eyes wide.

"I waste water apparently. I'm not supposed to take showers, cause I fall, and I can't take baths cause of our drains, and then I also waste water, but everyone else can bathe...." I explain with a sardonic smile. The officer finally is beginning to get a read on me, that perhaps though I seem mellow that there is more behind it.

"You need to find another place to live." he tells me. "But before that, can I see your cell phone?"

"Sure, no problem... and I've been looking for one."

I go and get my cell phone, while one of the cops watch me, and they are shocked by my messy room. The biggest contention of me living where I do. Before the cops left one of them jokingly laughed to me, "Yeah, and you should probably clean your room," with a kind smile. My landlords claim fire department people and police will fine or issue other things if they see it, but so far cops, paramedics, police chiefs, and more have seen my room in worse states than it currently is messy and are totally chill with it and only have parentaly suggested I should clean it up, with a smile and often a chuckle.

Anyways

The main cop has my cell phone and asks me, "Did you tell anyone that you might kill yourself today?"

"When I was online with the crisis hotline, yeah, I was talking about it. I did send a text insinuating it to my best friend, but other than that no..." I answered and then kind of fell onto my side.

The young man cop immediately reached his hands out towards me in worry, "Are you okay? Do you need a chair?"

"Oh no, I'm fine, well not fine... I hurt, but lying on my left side like this is best. Thank you, though." I reply with a smile. The main cop is looking through my phone and the other cops who are closer to my age are looking at me weird, as if how could I just hand my phone over to a cop? I didn't fight, try to erase things, try to explain things?! Nope, just gave him my phone. He can lol over funny texts between me and Jams.

Finally he asks me, "What did you say to... the crisis team... and to Dustin from the lawyer's?" I realize that he's gone through my texts and call history, and likely might have checked my skype and facebook and internet, too, in just that three minutes. I don't use them much.

"Dustin I admitted that the SSI application was pointless, everything in my life was pointless, I wanted to just give it up, terminate anything that had begun, there was no reason to keep it going. If I begin to receive assistance I will receive a gross amount less for rent and food than I currently get... and I began to cry uncontrollably and I was trying to get off the phone and just end the process of applying again... with the Crisis, I admitted I had a buncha pills I wanted to take, and got talked out of it, by realizing there are programs to help people who have nothing...." Finally the cop said he was going to make a few calls on it, and he walks away.

The younger girl cop asks me something I could tell she was dying to ask, "Do you always dye your hair like that?"

I chuckle, "Um, kind of... It was purple since October, but then I was trying to dye the purple out, and I got this pink." We all laugh at this explanation and then the younger man mentions the bright pink is reminiscent of the 80's, and I recall that I like it a lot because it is similar to Cadance from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

"Can I ask how you hurt your back?" the girl cop asks, her voice polite, but nervous.

"Yeah," I reply. "Back in December 2010 I was in a car accident and got 3 herniations, but then in 2012, this doctor Ashokan herniated on disc from 5mm to a centimeter. That made it so I couldn't walk at all for a long time."

"Oh wow..." she said, her eyes sympathetic.

"Yeah, I deal," I tried to smile encouragingly. This is my life, I can't live for myself. I have to pretend to be okay for other people. Finally the cop with my phone returns with my phone and tells me...

"Yeah Dustin from the lawyer's office wants you to know that your claim is far from being denied, it's still waiting to be approved even," at first my heart jumped before I realized.

"Wait.. you mean the claim, from today?" I ask, confirming the idiocy of trying to comfort me with the cold hard fact that pushed me into the warm comforting arms of the idea of unlife.

"Yes, the one from today," the cop replied. "It might not be a lot of money, but you should look at it like a happy accident."

I have to facepalm, but I don't. "The thing that upset me was that as soon as I get SSI, I won't get food stamps, because it is a California law... and the person helping me with rent will stop that aid, so together my total amount for food and rent will be a fraction of what it is now.... But I have program info to help now so I'll be okay somehow." I lie through my teeth at the end... yet the cold realization dawns on the cop. The person at that office duped him. The girl in the grass who is afraid of her landlords, SSI is going to possibly make it so she can't get food to eat, it might mean death from another mean that isn't suicide, which is why suicide is so tantalizing.

"Well, you seem to be pretty stable. Um, if we took you anywhere it'd be Hillmont, but..." the cop trailed off.

"That'd be worse, thanks for understanding," I finish for him.

"So you won't hurt yourself?" he clarifies.

"No, not on purpose." I answer, "I do hurt my back all the time just trying to walk around though, but it's all accidentally." to which I get the sad smile I was trying to get, while I chuckle, adjusting my pose to ease my back pain.

"Well if you need anything call us."

"Will do, thank you~!" and with that the cops leave.

--
6.20

Oh before they left, they did ask me what I was doing when they arrived, and I explained that I was literally in the middle of blogging, and they asked what about, and what I generally blog about. I told them that I blog about being disabled, and I was writing out my feelings about the idiot at the office I had dealt with.

What I failed to get into real details thus far was what Dustin from the office said to me that crawled under my skin.

The whole reason I had agreed to make a phone appointment with this office to discuss SSI or SSDI again, was because, it was mentioned that I might actually be able to get an amount that would be survivable on. When Dustin spoke with me, though, this became very apparent, not to be so. Dustin was very spoken that I was too old to have any sort of disability insurance.

“You are too old to have any disability insurance,” Dustin told me, as if I was some sort of idiot. His tone of voice was annoyed, like everyone should already know the information he divulged. “You never worked long enough to pay into it. You chose to stop working too early.”

“I’m sorry, I chose?” I repeated to him, a bit stunned. Was he referring the date of the last day of work?! The day that my best friend had to help carry me out of the store because I couldn’t walk unaided?!!

“You also didn’t choose to work full time.” He continued. “Because of your age, you have to have worked full time for five years… and you chose not to.” Dustin said this like a basic statement of facts. Twisting my horrible accident and torturous turn of my life and suffering into some sort of sweet fun flirtatious early life experimentation! Every time I heard him say “choose” or “chose” I felt like a knife was digging deeper into that injury already in the base of my spine.

“I never chose to not work full time,” I corrected him, my tone as polite as I could manage. “I had to work part time due to my physical limitations, as noted by doctors.” I explained clearly.

“Well, because you chose not to work for so long, and not to pay,” he continued to repeat as if he hadn’t heard me, nor read my case file that I have 5 herniated discs!! My spine doesn’t work!!!! What the fuck is wrong with this man?! “You’ll only be qualified for like SSI.”

Which would mean, basically no money, and under 300 a month. Food stamps would be cut off. The person aiding my rent would stop, also. And I would lose my housing, and my food in one swift active swing. I declared I wanted nothing of it, I wanted to give it all up, and he began to call me greedy that of course I was not entitled to a lot of money like ads on tv suggested… and that was never what I wanted. I want money to survive by. Pay rent, purchase food, medication.

This asshole is telling me that I have chosen to voluntarily, able-bodily-not-worked for most of my adult life, decided all of a sudden I am now disabled and want a lot of money and am now complaining that I can’t get a lot, and supposedly I guess all those injuries and issues pre 2014 do not exist, but he can begin to get me 200 dollars a month starting 2015, and that WILL be enough to live by, even in southern California. BECAUSE DUSTIN says so… Even if there are no places that cheap, nor places where I can find enough food for free even if I can find safe housing.

Thank you Dustin, even if I go to the social security office myself, you’ve made me look like an idiot.

TwinGalaxiesLive: Fun, Learn, Drama Begins

So I took a little vacation...

Literally. I went to something that I thought was awesome, and I was going to rave and blog about as being super awesome! Twin Galaxies Live! I went to play Street Fighter IV despite having not played it in a loooong time... at least a year and a half, maybe... 2 years? When did Japan Arcade close down?

Well I am glad I waited to post, because the people behind the scenes don't have their heads on very well... I don't know if it is discrimination because I am poor, or disabled, but there was very quick judgmental because as I write this I just got a very shocking call. [Added later: Actually... in the following I do wind up raving about the fun time I had... people who run it don't matter compared to people who're there!]

A friend of mine I hadn't seen for a while was kind enough to introduce me to the place. I was excited because aside from Street Fighter, there was also Hearth Stone that was played on Saturday!! And I like my TCGs. Hearth Stone is all online though, which is the one thing I dislike, so the chance to play it in real life with people, I was very excited at the chance!

Then my friend called me... I am heretofore banned from Twin Galaxies Live... Oh, and he wouldn't give me any sort of contact details for anyone who worked at the building. All that was said was that James had made some comments about me, and it had been decided that I would not be allowed to go back there.... Because of his claims?

Well I used to go to an Arcade back in the day, FFA, Family Fun Arcade. Now that was the happening place. I honestly was thinking, being on the north west end of NoHo, TGL was almost like the new FFA if you wanted to play Street Fighter late on a Sunday night!! But I just had to befriend James...

As a gamer girl, I always have to be careful about making friends. It is tricky and sticky business.

Back at FFA if there was ever an issue they had a 3 strike policy. If someone caused an issue 3 times, they were banned for 6 months or maybe a year if it was something very bad... unless what occurred was like a crime or something serious and there were actual witnesses by employees and such, not just a random person coming up and claiming some silly statement. (I STILL have NO IDEA what James is claiming or saying about me. I am assuming that it is bad. He went from sort of like friendly texts in the afternoon to ignoring by 5 to saying we shouldn't speak by 11...)

So what happened?

Well f*** him... Lemme tell you about TGL - even if the people who run it are messed up with policies- the players are nice for the most part. And I DID have fun! I was one of the first to show up, so I got to play constantly at first. My friend wasn't too interested in playing, and I was very into rewetting my feet.

The set up was pretty cool. I wheeled in (in my wheelchair) and got to see the setup. XBOX 360 (ugh not PS3?) set up in a faux arcade cab with a pull out desk so you could set sticks of your own on it, rather than use the built in cabinent sticks, and stools to sit on so you could easily be seen on camera. I got mic-ed up, and excited began to play, the player who I first faced kindly let me use the better stick, and he used an Injustice stick, which they are horrible... despite having sanwa buttons he said.

I was getting my ass handed to me for the most part, but as the night began to wear on, I slowly began to recall how to play SSFIV and also specific moves of characters that I knew. I was happy that I was able to hold my own against the players, actually winning matches here and there. Until there was a match that the Africa stage took place, then I couldn't do anything but stare at the giraffes and coo at them, but much to the amusement of the guys around me. I still manage to win a round and barely lose, and then demand that there can be no more random selects when I play because the giraffes..... distract me.... My friend backs me up, as we had stopped along the way and there had been a giraffe in a store and I flipped out over it.... lol.

That said friend who had brought me in was eager to brag to me about the set up of the arcade cabinet. Apparently you can play any game in it... and it took years to set up the stream... and he kept explaining and explaining, and he expected me to be impressed... but I'd already seen it, years before, different ways. Better streams even, set up within hours, I wondered why did it take so long? I mean... I have some of this stuff at home, I was thinking to myself. (Literally. West Toast, we recorded and streamed BlazBlue and MeltyBlood, and some of it was recorded on my crappy laptop, over 4 years ago... by me and my best friend Allen.)

I would occasionally get back in for a few matches, with aid of a steady arm to move from the cushy plush couches they had behind the HD cab screen to step to the stool, and then step back. It really was pretty cool, even though we didn't have that many people show up.

I was taking a break from playing when James came inside. TOTALLY my friend type... Into fighting games, into TCGs, and later he was running late for a tabletop game! (Even if it wasn't D&D 3.5). I collect friends like these... We began talking, and I found out that he was into writing, like I am (if you couldn't guess), and we had a lot in common aside from our gaming interests. At the time he seemed very mature... A lot like the last James I quickly befriended in a gaming event ironically. 

James wasn't playing many matches, and I asked why. He said he was too newbish to play much yet, but I pointed out how rusty I was, and how I was still playing, yet he still insisted on mostly watching. So before he left for his tabletop game I exchanged info with him and then began loudly complaining that I had asked for a turn about ten minutes earlier, lol.

So eventually I get back in and I choose, ONI AKUMA! I hear someone cry out, "No you can't choose my character!" And I laugh because I know the plight of someone choosing your character when no one has played them yet for the evening, lol. I wind up beating the guy that I am playing, it seems much to the astonishment of all the guys around me. We play again and I barely manage a win, but I have to go and sit back down in the comfy lounge sofas that they have because my back is crying out in pain.

By this time I've taken a few pain killers, but to no avail... It's like I might as well have taken just, tylenol, god that dark joke will last forever for me. So while I am chilling on the sofa as a bystander, enjoying the match, watching and remembering oh you should block that, that is a high move, that is a low, and learning about new moves and characters, people eventually begin to comment on the stream and get onto to Skype and talk to us!

My friend had told me that we were going to go to a cosplay event where I was going to see a friend of mine Jarrod!! So with my Twilight Hair still... I put on my ears and horn, and twa-la, I am Twilight Sparkle! I even had the cutie mark... on my boob...


-twi pic need to load-


So several lovely commentators are talking about "the unicorn"... Cute, creepy, and then come the two young gentlemen on Skype who are obviously quite high... "Wow, who's that chick with the big boobs?"

O_O

"Excuse me?" I ask, clarifying that yes, indeed I am a person here. I am here to play, I am not some background eye candy.

"Does that bitch actually play?" the other guy asks, oh man not the thing to ask. 

I realize that my mic didn't work so this time I make sure it is working properly and I reply to them.

"Yes I play, if you had tuned in earlier you would have seen me playing a lot, but I needed to take a rest, because I have a back injury. I'll see if I can play a round in a little while here, but uh, what did you say about me?"

"Sorry about that..." I get a sheepish apology and then giggles. Of course I was not offended at all and from the first comment the entire room is laughing and by this time I begin to lose it and even the players are having trouble keeping it together because everyone is laughing so much. The next poor Skype user to tune in is completely confused as to why everyone is laughing, poor thing.

The second Skyper was a hunting aficionado who showed off some deer heads and was very happy to talk to us. And the high guys cut in and out due to poor internet connection. 

"Ugh these pain meds are messing with my playing," I complain, despite winning a round with Juri. The high guys ask what I am on, assuming, oh it is Cali, probably good weed. "Dilaudid, Norco..."

"Holy shit!" one of them exclaims, "how did you get that?!"

"I have 5 herniated discs," I reply, winning the round while talking about all this. I am very good at talking and playing. Males don't tend to be good at this. I don't know why. God I remember this one BlazBlue win streak I had going while I was talking to a girlfriend about boy troubles and it was just annoying all the male players all the more that they were losing. 

"You can't see it, but I'm in a wheelchair. I go from the stool to the couch, I can't really walk." I explain cutting into my opponent in round 2. I can tell they are slightly concerned but more annoyed that I am not seeming to take the match seriously, and still winning.... I mean I am paying attention to the match, it is just I know how to speak, derp.

The guys around me all kind of made sounds of pain at the sound of the herniated discs and when I said I had a 1cm herniation it got reaction irl around me and from the guys online, too... Unfortunately it got reaction in my back, too. Playing the new character I don't know with Juri, holding my fire ball kicks, and not timing them right, I finally lose a match and I cry out in pain and collapse on the cab table. With help I get back to the couch and I kept apologizing for some reason. Then I curled up and cried for a little while, and no one noticed thankfully...


Towards the end of the night randomly one of them said, "My friend is bleeding out, I have to go to the ER. It was nice talking to you, we might be on later, bye." Leaving most of us speechless and confused as to what could have happened in the short span of offline time...

But as the night wound down, and sadly my skills wound up!!! people left and soon we had to close up for the night. I felt that I had made friends, and perhaps found a new place to go, now that I had lost FFA forever...

So later in the week I had a doctor's appointment that brought me out to Simi Valley. I invited James out to play with me and my bestie for some fun. First game up, the new Guilty Gear... which is missing my favorite character, Baiken...

But it was fun getting to see the game some and try it out... but I had evil intentions, I will admit. My best friend also was more devious than I was as I insisted that we play the game he interrupted me giving instructions on HOW to play!

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  The results were hilarious... at least to me and my best friend... James was laughing too, although he was frustrated. He had seen the previously linked Angry Video Game Nerd video review, so he knew what he was getting into...

If you are not familliar, it is an old NES, original Nintendo system, game that is renown to be one of the worst games ever... while still being playable. Dr. Jerkyll is apparently trying to get to his wedding and in the game every townsperson seems to attack him... there are ladies who run into you, men who calmly walk up to you drop a bomb and run away, and boys who shoot rocks at you! Later there are men who shoot ducks out of the sky that hit you, grave diggers who chuck rocks at you, and singers who cascades a bunch of notes that hurt you....

Oh and a bunch of crazy rabid animals attack you along with the bombs and projectiles and crazy townsfolk... so once your meter goes down too zero, you become Hyde... Then you can actually attack. Did I mention while you are Dr. Jekyll you can't attack ANYTHING at all? Except little bees that show up later on in the game of course... but you have this cane that pops out and kind of makes it look like you could attack.

So as Hyde you can actually shoot projectiles...  Actual monsters, albeit brain-foots, zombie babies, and giant mouths come and attack you, but you can attack back, refill your meter, but you have to do it before the game scrolls you to the point that you reached as Dr. Jekyll! If you reach that point without the meter, lightning strikes you dead, game over.

So James didn't remember the episode very well, so as he tried to use his cane and his health got low, and so did his meter, his cane passing through the apparently angry people, as he turned into Hyde he decided, "Okay I better not attack anything."

I was going to say something, but Allen seemed too amused for me to ruin his fun, so I held my tongue. Soon lightning struck our poor fighting game newbie and we both laughed while he was very confused. "What the hell happened?!"

"Just try again," my bestie tells him, stifling his laughs. I am beginning to think that he's more cruel than me... By the third time he dies, I finally decide he's suffered enough and explain that as Hyde you are supposed to kill the monsters, as Jekyll try to avoid everything... Just try to make it to the end. Press up and B to shoot projectiles, yes up and B of all things as Hyde! WTF!

So he manages to get like halfway through the stage and I offer to take the burden up. I nearly make it to the end. James tries again and gets about halfway again. Then he manages to beat the first level! We clap for him all happy he sort of finally got the gist of this horrible piece of crap. We're all laughing.

"I know it's horrible, but it's part of what makes it so much fun," I comment as he tries level 2. In this level birds begin to drop giant coils of dog poo... I kid you not. And like they drop them like scatter bombs. "Oh my good look at the birds dropping the dog doo!!"

James is trying to dodge dog doo, but gets hit and then knocked into a bomb that he tried to walk away from... poor thing. Lightning kills him and I take up the control again. I get further into level 2 and nearly to the end before I am struck down, "Nooooo!!!" I yell as monsters kill me.

All three of us are laughing, and I could never guess as to the storm to come. Then we decide to actually play a real game. Since he wanted to learn street fighter, we go ahead and put our copy in and fire up the PS3 and I finally get to see how well he played... And he was not as much as a newbie as he let on.

Allen, my bestie, and myself quickly began to advise him on what he could do better, and such, while I played Ken, somewhat casually. Eventually I actually went to play Juri and Oni who I will play if I feel a need to challenge an opponent more or actually play more seriously. Soon I was actually playing, not just casually letting him learn off of me.

There was a match when James and I both chose random and I had Zangief and he got Hugo, both grappler characters. The humor being that I know how to play Zangief, thanks to Mike Z- long story there-, and he sort of knew grapplers. So I was like, I am not going to seriously play, I was like, "Grab me! Grab me!!"

He kept only managing normal throws, but I encouraged him, "Well I wasn't able to get out of them, at least that is good."

But I was being a bit of a dick and if you've ever played Zangief I kept doing, heavy kick...  It has a far reach and to players who are unawares it can be very trollish to keep doing it low, normal, or high! XD

After a while, he was able to finally break through and actually punish me to essentially mashing, which was great! "Great job, you broke thru James! You got me!"

"It's a normal grab..." he replied, throwing me.

"Well you got through the trolling!" I replied laughing as I died and he won the match. So we play again and I actually begin to play for reals and then he has to switch characters but his Dudley was about an even match for my Zangief, but he was still struggling against the grabs.

"It just does so much damage," Allen commented, he's my bestie, but as he took the fightstick James had horror struck me... 

"Noooo," I whimpered fakely in fear, although I felt an asskicking coming.

I switched back to Ken and of course Allen chooses his main, Dhalsim... His stretchy limbs and fiery breath had made him a past favorite of mine back in Alpha, but I never got into him in SF4...

I manage to not embarrass myself taking a round off of him with Ken, but as we go a second match he whoops my butt 2 v 0 with his health high and proud and me grumbling. I switch to Juri, whom I prefer, and I again win the first round, but then another 2 close wins are his. Finally my back is hurting, I've been playing too seriously and I feel a stab of pain and I yelp.

"Are you okay?" Allen asked, concerned, James looks worried, too. 

"Yeah, yeah, just need a break. James, why don't you try?" I offer weakly, giving up my stick. And yes, it is my stick... Allen, my best friend, just kind of borrows it.... I am nice like that.

James fairs little better than I did. "I feel better," I chuckle about his loss. Not meaning any harm, more meaning to compliment that Allen is a superior player and me and James are better matched.

Then... we found out that James had never seen Airplane! Which was something I decided that we had to fix- immediately! As it is on Netflix... Or was on the 20th. So we began watching Airplane! and of course the following duration of the film is the three of us laughing our asses off, and eating pizza that James very, very, generously supplied.

I was kind of feeling a bit off that he showed up with a fightstick, bought us pizza... I offered to pay for the pizza, or even in part, but he declined my several offers. This I now see was a warning for the storm that was to come... partially cause I am a gamer girl... and hugely because of who and what I am.

It's cause I made him play Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

No seriously... I honestly don't know what I did, but I scored an awesome friend 8 days ago, and now James is a huge hater. I am sad that I lost such a cool friend... Well haters are gonna hate, and I will blog to let off my feelings, try to leave details to points that identities will remain safe unless people identify them---which has happened in the past--- please don't go and identify anyone. Allen has more tact, but I can think of perhaps two other people who could point out the exact identity... just don't. 

This has happened in the past, where someone that no one would have known who it was that I was talking about, but the single other person who had been present went on Facebook and linked my blog identifying the person and calling me out. This is personal, but also open. Any strangers won't know who the hells I am talking about, and that is totally fine. I hold no animosity.

more to come.