There is never anything quite like being on a dating site and seeing someone that you know. What is more awkward is when it is someone that you know of the gender that you are attracted to, and you have decidedly kind of... meh, I don't think I like them, or for sure don't like them. If it's been put as a match or suggestion it is almost embarrassing... isn't it?
When I was 18 I tried out Yahoo Dating, for all of a week. The end of the week I saw Mr. David Binder, a substitute teacher that I had had and someone I casually, kind of, knew through other people. He had already asked me out before, unsuccessfully.
As much as I am groaning and moaning about it now, I feel like I would like to jump into the dating pool, but I am pretty much stuck inside.... unable to go out much... unless I got an electronic wheel chair. Or got a very small wheelchair and a motorcycle. That could work, if I got the money. So a friend suggested Bumble. The first user I met was nice, not interested unless we could be friends with benefits, but nice. He warned me that there might be men with disability fetishes... Which would not be completely surprising.... I mean I have had a few guys wanna sit in the chair with me lol.
So literally just now, as I write this, I stumbled across a friend's super adorable photo and swiped to like. (Hope he sees that lol.) It got me to wondering... Maybe there is something to this... He had been in a friendzone for such a long time... maybe we should just go out on an actual date. See just how weird that feels, or maybe how nice it could feel. I'd feel very stupid if things worked out, because he's been in front of me for so many years.
One thing that I see as a giant obstacle, and was one back when I was in Chicago, was the single girl complex among nerd men. They all feel entitled to me. I am saying this with no humor, no amusement, and disgust. One friend insists he is just being nice for nice's sake, and he's a good friend, he would be okay if a got a boyfriend, OH BUT I haven't gotten one yet right?! Another guy was stalking me for a long time, and to make him leave me alone... yeah leave me alone! I acknowledged him and he defended behavior like trying to look at me changing, groping me, and him being selfish and blamed it on his Asperger's. No, those are things sexual predators do. He is now angry at me that I am being selfish and not being willing to see him. He says that he is "different now", and I explain that he reminds me of "childhood molestation". It doesn't matter how he's changed, the damage was done. Another male today... I don't know how I even made the mistake of speaking with him again... maybe Facebook... but he'd probably rejoice if I would see him again, and maybe try to attack if I dated a man not him.
So much drama, and I'm really not a catch. I just attract scum.
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