Pain, pain, and more pain

So something that I was going to once post that I never got around to, but I have maybe touched upon, is that my back pain is not being treated... I am seeing a pain doctor, though. Before I went to see him I had looked online and found better reviews on Yelp and other sites... not this site...  Some reviews:

"Literally went in there for about 3 minutes, didn't really say anything to me, and charged me $276. And all he did was write me a prescription for ibuprofen.....Really!! And yes, his wife is very rude."

"I went to this office and let me tell you... his wife who is also the office manager is the most horrible person I met in a long time. She doesn't sympathize or understand a patient's perspective. All she thinks is that we're there for pills, pills, and pills. It's called pain, wench. The scheduling girls are nice but I feel bad for them working under her. And billing... let's not get started on that sad excuse. Don't go here!"

"I saw him for a total of 5 minutes and he charged $780.00. Did not give my a script or anything, just talk. When I walked into the waiting room I felt like I was in another country. Yes, his wife is very rude and the staff is uneducated and could care less."

"I had been in such horrible pain for so long, I thought that was how it was suppose to be. Then he came along and told me otherwise...yet he could never take away my pain!! But he would only give me either pain pills or nerve blocks, nothing else. If I showed up with a smile on my face, to him I must be all better, no not really just trying to fake it till I make it. They go through front office staff like crazy! You either love him or hate him.. Good luck!"

Were some of the reviews that I read.... and they sound about right. I have no idea who his wife is... I have no idea who would want to marry him to be honest, he is a very cold man who doesn't seem to care about much. I've been crying in pain and he doesn't seem to even bat an eye about it... Maybe one of the women is a trophy wife in it for the money, I couldn't imagine another reason to be honest... or some arrangement from his home country?? All of the staff that I've dealt with is usually super kind and nice and understanding, at least to me, but reading the reviews that are upset at the staff, they all mention money--none of the reviews that fail to mention staff mention the cost of their bills much- I have a feeling that it might be connected. If you get upset and bitch about your bill-that might cause someone to not be polite to you, lol.... but anyway, my dealing with the doctor hasn't been the best. So I will put my own review down here, plus a little more explanation in it:

He was willing to give me trigger point injections to treat my chronic pain (Injections right into the spinal column to help pain) -which no other doctor was... This was part of what kept me going to him for several months- but after 6 months of seeing him he has wanting to lower my pain meds- A LOT. This is understandable with the "opioid epidemic" but today (April 2nd) leaving his office I collapsed in pain, unable to walk and strangers had to help carry me to the car I was in (which was right by the drive.) [Yes, I couldn't manage to walk something like 12 feet... first people were concerned and standing around me and then they lifted and carried me to the vehicle. They even wanted first to call paramedics, but I had to convince them that I was fine, before I began to sob too much to speak. My friend had to thank them for me. He even told them that I had just seen the doctor. One of them even asked why the doctor hadn't helped me... heh]

I am constantly in pain, which is ok, the meds just lower how bad my pain is, and Dr. Kumar refuses to even talk to me about changing medications to even something perhaps non-narcotic. (I tried to bring it up again today and failed.) Today he upped one med and took me off another which will leave me doped up when I become in severe agony, and I'm not sure I want to treat my pain because of this. (He literally told me to simply take 2 Norco when I'm in pain... take more Norcos... sometimes I am taking 4 a day, it is ridiculous.) Not taking the meds will cause high blood pressure and organ damage if I don't treat my pain.

*update* 2 mo later- I guess someone reported a complaint I made to her to the doctor- now he gave me a new non-narc and is KINDA listening to me in visits. It took 6 months of me SUFFERING and him hearing about me finally getting a recommendation for a new doctor to actually offer me treatment. He's going to try a new procedure, too... it shouldn't take 6 months of ignoring me and what happened 2 months ago to get help. I'm feeling much better than 2 months ago- I haven't collapsed again--but I am taking a ridiculous amount of Norco that I'm sleeping all the time...

end review

I hope that the higher Lyrica dosage helps my pain. It is sad that it took the fear of losing my money for him to a little more than half ass give me proper treatment in office. The procedure that is upcoming in two weeks is a spinal nerve cauterization Google says 30-50% have some success.... and this success often it has to be redone in 2 years. There can be side-effects, but it often is minimal. I am a bit nervous- mostly that it won't work, though.



"I said at the time I would never have it done again because the pain afterwards was so intense and I'm not sure it helped at all. Well, given that I want to avoid more surgery at all cost, it looks like I'm going to have to do this again. I'm scared.""

"For 5 days afterwards ( except the first day and a half with the numbing agent) the pain was so bad I could not sleep, eat or keep down liquids as I was in so much excruciating pain and was put on even more meds to help control the dry heave vomiting."

" this procedure CAN make your pain level much worse (if done incorrectly and the targeted nerve is damaged) and it 100% WILL make your level of pain worse before making it any better (1-2 months before experiencing any relief)."

That makes me a bit nervous though... cause apparently it can be super painful...... And for a lot of people it apparently doesn't help either, so it might just make my pain worse-for nothing. Some, though, have had help from the procedure, so I am willing to try it at least once. I am looking forward to the procedure and hoping for relief.

What really doesn't help matters is that I broke a filling somehow and a dentist is claiming that I now need a root canal because of it... I really don't know how this figures except perhaps that they want money. I suppose I should seek a second opinion, but because it did manage to get infected it might actually be too late.

I didn't notice that the filling was broken immediately-so the tooth got into a bad shape and became inflame and infected. They did an X-ray and the first dentist at the clinic I saw said that I might actually only need a filling, but it might be a root canal... but when I saw the dentist who took Medicaid the next day he immediately said that I would need a root canal and didn't seem interested in listening to me... like the fact that I told him that I was on Norco and he said that he'd give me more narcotics after surgery-WOAH! And he was telling me to take Motrin, and I tried to explain to him how I couldn't take it, I am already on an NSAID that is prescribed, and he refused to listen and told me to take Motrin anyway, 6 times a day, 2 of them... which would destroy my liver... oh and 500mg of Tylenol, too, 6 times a day-when I am also on Norco which has it in it--I mean, I already have liver issues-this guy just wants me to end up in the hospital with it failing it seems. Anyway I finally just said I would take the two meds, knowing that I wouldn't... And when they told me that Medi-cal would pay for a root-canal, it turns out that wasn't quite true.

So I called a second dental clinic and they told me something interesting. Medi-cal only pays $200 of the $1500 a root canal costs... That's not quite paying for it. And it also turns out that there was an even bigger thing that the doctors didn't tell me at the first clinic-- you need a post and crown when you get a root canal, and that's not included in that $1500. Apparently that costs at least an additional $1100 at the second clinic that I called and Medi-cal will not pay a dime for some reason--despite that this is something you need with a root canal.... why pay for any of it at all?? So I need $2400.

My jaw is so bad that I am having problems eating solid foods. If anything lands back there I have insane pain that lingers for at least an hour. When I lay my head down, it hurts... which makes sleep even more difficult than it already has been. I already have insomnia, now it's even worse. I can't even lie down without my jaw killing me. I can't sit upright without my back killing me. (Standing is worse.) I am exhausted and desperate. I have no money. I don't have much of a support system.

My friends keep citing that at least I have them...as they walk out the door I cannot help but feel alone. They aren't really close friends. I don't have many people who would come over and spend time with me. Suicide is looking like a dear friend as the pain becomes more and more intense as the days drag on longer. When I manage to fall asleep I stay asleep as I'm afraid I will harm myself more than I have. I beat my leg senseless in desperation the other day in the dentist's office because I didn't have a weapon other than my cane. The deep purple bruises mar my pale skin and I can't help but think I wish I'd done more harm. It's a good thing that I live on the first floor of my building.

I really just want the pain to stop. A friend, who is more acquaintance, suggested thinking of things that make you happy when the pain gets to you, but when I try to think of things that make me happy, things that I want to live for, I can't. Those things that USED to make me happy, that I USED to want to live for, they aren't there anymore. Those people don't seem to care anymore. I can no longer manage to read books. I can no longer manage to play video games. I can no longer manage to write.... I can no longer manage to do ANYTHING without such severe agony in my jaw and back.... the back pain has only gotten better because I down so many Norcos, leaving me in a haze, when I do... it's not a fun thing. I just don't want to be alone anymore. Maybe if I weren't alone I could manage this a couple more weeks to the procedure, but I'm struggling.... I just have to make it till then.....