I always have been leery of authority after I discovered that cops were not to be trusted. Barely 17 I found out that government responded to bribes over protecting victims of violence. So later on when I was working at the pharmacy I should have jumped on the bandwagon of taking advantage of the system like everyone else did... I kick myself that I didn't.
There is no way that I can receive SSDI because of time elapsed for application and last time worked, because I ignorantly listened to my doctors saying that I might get better.. I might improve... Even after I was laid off from my job. The government doesn't want people to take disability unless people are actually disabled I thought... well, that's not true.
If there is even a chance that you might not get better in the next few months, I would encourage anyone who is injured to apply, or else it might ruin their lives. Because I failed to apply, listening to my doctors, I now face permanent poverty unless by a miracle I do get better. I will never see more than $800 a month, which needs to be closer to $1600 to be a living amount for a single adult where I currently live, and that is minimum.
"Funded by general tax revenues, Supplemental Security Income program was created to provide financial assistance to elderly and disabled individuals with little or no income. According to its website, SSI provides cash to meet basic needs for food, clothing and shelter. Monthly SSI payments are based on need and can be as much as $1,098 for couples, as of 2012. However, SSI wasn't intended to provide for eligible recipients' housing needs, so additional housing assistance is sometimes necessary."
Lovely thing I found online. So SSI is income tossed to people who rightfully tried not to abuse the system, got dealt a terrible hand, and are expected to live on the street if they are in a place where there isn't enough shelter? I am often bed-ridden all day! It goes on to mention section 8, and a few other programs, but section 8's own website shows that there are only a handful of open places across the ENTIRE COUNTRY... You would have to find a way to MOVE CROSS COUNTRY, and even then you'd be put into a large lottery pool.
The entire time since my accident I was facing trying to get better, but the realization that I likely won't is beginning to sink in... But not getting better comes with the option of not being able to afford to live. I've had psychiatric disability qualifiers since I was at least fourteen, but the government doesn't care. It doesn't matter that I am entitled to collect my mother's SSDI. Ed Sheeran's Bloodstream is on repeat. I feel the chemicals burn in my blood stream, so tell me when it kicks in.
Chemicals right now are sitting in an amber vials looking tantalizing, but if I quickly calculate milligrams and dosages, I know what is going to happen. I could get super high... I could make a decent shot at killing myself before I get the official notice from the government that I'm disabled and I don't have means to live anymore... But most likely I would take that decent shot and before enough of the pills could be absorbed I would vomit them up. That is what happened the last time I seriously tried to harm myself such.
My blood pressure medication is a dose too low to cause respiratory arrest when mixed even with other downers and alcohol, despite if I swallowed a newly refilled bottle. Nuerontin and other medication doses have been lowered considerably, which lends having to take more pills for more punch, and increases the chances of getting sick.
I stopped cutting myself because the scars were becoming a troublesome thing to others... so now I just don't take my pain medication and I revel in the agony that I feel. That is, until I cannot feel anymore. Eventually I begin to go numb and I realize that I must be over loading what few pathways aren't damaged. The SSA's decision doesn't even matter when the max amount won't be enough to pay even half of the expense of living... I wish that I could have just died in that car accident.
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