To the ER, again.
I wound up going to the ER on Free Comic Book Day, May 3rd, I went to the ER after I fell on my stairs. My back was hurting so badly that I couldn't really stand up. At the ER I got a shot, felt better, but wasn't discharged. I was left alone for about 8 hours before the doctor came back to ask how I was feeling. I was on a gurney and on my back, which was a nightmare for my back, so when I woke up I couldn't stop the groan of pain that came from the sudden onset of waking up in such a horrible position.
The doctor thought that I was faking because the medication he gave me 8 hours earlier should have helped, despite that I was sleeping in the worst position for my back for 8 hours on a badly padded bed, in a position that also put extra stress on my lower back because the back was raised slightly. So he told me not to come back to that ER.
Yesterday 5/11, I was watching The Amazing Atheist and working on Deviantart work, when suddenly my chest hurt, very badly. It was like someone shoved a knife into my chest and twisted it around. My breaths became short, I was lightheaded and dizzy and my left arm had shooting pain, similar to the nerve pain I get in my legs. When it didn't go away after ten minutes, I called 911, afraid to get in trouble for going to the ER.
Yes, I could have been having a heart attack or a thrombosis (a very dangerous blood clot), and I was afraid of going to the ER because of upsetting a doctor there. After I called them, they asked me for my cell phone number and I had to explain about three times that my cell phone doesn't have a number. It is deactivated, but at least since 2005 when my friend had a deactivated on, I knew it could call 911 still. One time I called 911 on a drunk driver and the operator had the audacity to ask, "if it's deactivated, how are you calling me?" omg.... *facepalm* I promptly explained any cell phone can always call 911, despite coverage, so I could deal with the dangerous motorist.
So when I got to the hospital, fortunately I didn't see that doctor who forbade me from returning. The doctor I had actually was willing to give me heavy narcotics for my back pain, because he knows me, and saw how much pain my back was, as countless tests were being run to check my heart and lungs and blood. Yeah, he was willing to give me Dilaudid, but I turned him down, because my pain wasn't that bad. (Dilaudid 1mg is = 7.5mg Morphine, I usually get 1-2mg). I was actually offered it like three times, but I refused it.
Fortunately they couldn't find anything wrong with my heart, lungs, or blood. Heart problems and issues run in my family. My mother had a heart valve that let blood leak back into a chamber giving her a heart murmur. My aunt had two holes in her heart and died on the operating table while the doctors were trying to save her. Cousin... another aunt....... others.........
So I had physical therapy today, and I was sort of looking forward to it. Depression decided to weigh heavily down on me today, like I walk on a place that has massive gravity. The chest pain struck in the car, very strong. Then at physio the pain came once more, enough to make me stop exercising on the stationary bike. After I was finished I called my primary care physician's office (PCP) and spoke with them. They had wanted to know how my seizures have been lately.
Apparently three seizures in a month are too many, and my brain MRI is going to be moved up from August to some time earlier. I lied though, it's been more than three. I don't want the doctor's to think that I am exaggerating claims. But I mentioned the chest pain and I was advised to go to the ER immediately despite the ER doctor telling me to see my PCP. The PCP office said that they don't have the tools to figure out what could be wrong. My physio therapist said I should be fine. The PCP office seemed VERY alarmed and wanted me to go to the ER. The ER has that doctor who--------ugh the pain feels like a stabbing, sharp, so sharp, my head is swimming....but the ER has that doctor who doesn't want to see me again....omg the pain is getting so bad that I can't breathe....
I had to stop writing and come back to finish this. I don't want to go to the ER because that doctor who does not want me there could be there... and the ER told me to see my PCP. It's a cycle I've fallen into before ER, PCP, ER, PCP....
Then I also found out that my father texted my friend trying to reach me. I had called him some time ago, apologizing for everything that I might have done wrong in my life to make him not care about me. Now he has the audacity to say that is he mad that I am blaming everything wrong in my life on him... That I am upset that he can't find me housing immediately, despite him having two houses, an apartment for my uncle, and he's known I need a place to stay since the end of December. End of December to today doesn't seem immediate to me, but I guess other people differ on opinions.
I almost hope that there is something wrong with my heart that the doctor's missed. It might just be easier if I die sooner, my life just never seems to go in a good direction ever since my mother died. Oh yeah, being in the ER on mother's day and having a nurse ask if I had kids and then hearing about what she did with her mother was just great for my psyche.
At least the season finale of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic season 4 was freakin awesome... one reason to keep on chugging..
I wound up going to the ER on Free Comic Book Day, May 3rd, I went to the ER after I fell on my stairs. My back was hurting so badly that I couldn't really stand up. At the ER I got a shot, felt better, but wasn't discharged. I was left alone for about 8 hours before the doctor came back to ask how I was feeling. I was on a gurney and on my back, which was a nightmare for my back, so when I woke up I couldn't stop the groan of pain that came from the sudden onset of waking up in such a horrible position.
The doctor thought that I was faking because the medication he gave me 8 hours earlier should have helped, despite that I was sleeping in the worst position for my back for 8 hours on a badly padded bed, in a position that also put extra stress on my lower back because the back was raised slightly. So he told me not to come back to that ER.
Yesterday 5/11, I was watching The Amazing Atheist and working on Deviantart work, when suddenly my chest hurt, very badly. It was like someone shoved a knife into my chest and twisted it around. My breaths became short, I was lightheaded and dizzy and my left arm had shooting pain, similar to the nerve pain I get in my legs. When it didn't go away after ten minutes, I called 911, afraid to get in trouble for going to the ER.
Yes, I could have been having a heart attack or a thrombosis (a very dangerous blood clot), and I was afraid of going to the ER because of upsetting a doctor there. After I called them, they asked me for my cell phone number and I had to explain about three times that my cell phone doesn't have a number. It is deactivated, but at least since 2005 when my friend had a deactivated on, I knew it could call 911 still. One time I called 911 on a drunk driver and the operator had the audacity to ask, "if it's deactivated, how are you calling me?" omg.... *facepalm* I promptly explained any cell phone can always call 911, despite coverage, so I could deal with the dangerous motorist.
So when I got to the hospital, fortunately I didn't see that doctor who forbade me from returning. The doctor I had actually was willing to give me heavy narcotics for my back pain, because he knows me, and saw how much pain my back was, as countless tests were being run to check my heart and lungs and blood. Yeah, he was willing to give me Dilaudid, but I turned him down, because my pain wasn't that bad. (Dilaudid 1mg is = 7.5mg Morphine, I usually get 1-2mg). I was actually offered it like three times, but I refused it.
Fortunately they couldn't find anything wrong with my heart, lungs, or blood. Heart problems and issues run in my family. My mother had a heart valve that let blood leak back into a chamber giving her a heart murmur. My aunt had two holes in her heart and died on the operating table while the doctors were trying to save her. Cousin... another aunt....... others.........
So I had physical therapy today, and I was sort of looking forward to it. Depression decided to weigh heavily down on me today, like I walk on a place that has massive gravity. The chest pain struck in the car, very strong. Then at physio the pain came once more, enough to make me stop exercising on the stationary bike. After I was finished I called my primary care physician's office (PCP) and spoke with them. They had wanted to know how my seizures have been lately.
Apparently three seizures in a month are too many, and my brain MRI is going to be moved up from August to some time earlier. I lied though, it's been more than three. I don't want the doctor's to think that I am exaggerating claims. But I mentioned the chest pain and I was advised to go to the ER immediately despite the ER doctor telling me to see my PCP. The PCP office said that they don't have the tools to figure out what could be wrong. My physio therapist said I should be fine. The PCP office seemed VERY alarmed and wanted me to go to the ER. The ER has that doctor who--------ugh the pain feels like a stabbing, sharp, so sharp, my head is swimming....but the ER has that doctor who doesn't want to see me again....omg the pain is getting so bad that I can't breathe....
I had to stop writing and come back to finish this. I don't want to go to the ER because that doctor who does not want me there could be there... and the ER told me to see my PCP. It's a cycle I've fallen into before ER, PCP, ER, PCP....
Then I also found out that my father texted my friend trying to reach me. I had called him some time ago, apologizing for everything that I might have done wrong in my life to make him not care about me. Now he has the audacity to say that is he mad that I am blaming everything wrong in my life on him... That I am upset that he can't find me housing immediately, despite him having two houses, an apartment for my uncle, and he's known I need a place to stay since the end of December. End of December to today doesn't seem immediate to me, but I guess other people differ on opinions.
I almost hope that there is something wrong with my heart that the doctor's missed. It might just be easier if I die sooner, my life just never seems to go in a good direction ever since my mother died. Oh yeah, being in the ER on mother's day and having a nurse ask if I had kids and then hearing about what she did with her mother was just great for my psyche.
At least the season finale of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic season 4 was freakin awesome... one reason to keep on chugging..
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