Too Honest

I mentioned in a comment on a Youtube video that I am probably honest to a fault. Part of being a proper adult is being aware of your faults and short-comings and trying to work those out and bettering yourself. I am aware of my over honesty, but I am bothered sometimes by the world around me.

Months ago I found a Youtube user, Sandman and he is a classic Freudian man who believes that men are the pinnacle and women are at the bottom. Women have penis envy and shall never match up to men, of course. We try to emulate men, or else we need men to do the things that we cannot emulate, so he believe. It is actually pathetic and sad that he truly believe this as truth. That this is a MGTOW brainwashed believed truth dogma is pathetic...

I watch Sandman's videos because many times he actually has valid things to say about society. His videos are not solely about degrading women, as MGTOW is men going their own way, not 'women are bat-shit crazy and stupid', the videos cover a variety of life subjects. Even when touching upon women and relationships I sadly often agree with some of the things said, which might be why I have many more male friends than female. I usually change names, but I proudly name Mere-bear as one of my few awesome female friends.

He reviewed the latest Ghost Busters movie and it seemed to show a bit of an Oedipus complex and I truly felt disturbed and disappointment, as I often am pleased to hear him bring up great subjects with true and wise words with opinions based in knowledge. He essentially said that the women were trying to emulate the men, which is not true; they were doing their own jobs, it was a clean slate. He claimed that they were more brave than the men- which is not realistic, and again, it was another clean slate- the movies are different. The situations were different, they are different people, you cannot paint it so black and white.

I rolled my eyes as soon as he began it with "same character but with a vagina and boobs" which doesn't even make sense.... physical attributes obviously don't fucking effect a character... it is just severe passive aggressive attitude breaking through. Like SEVERE passive aggression, lol. He does this a lot actually. He is a very angry suppressed little man. I was harassed and teased a lot in middle and high school, too, but I learned how to not view the entirety of human society as evil.

Sam came over today and I was listening to Sandman's videos with Sam here. Sam is a MRA and he is into MGTOW, which has set him apart from people, and gotten him into trouble, apparently. Somehow in my time of being disabled I have become disconnected from the world... Not being a feminist now makes you a misogynist. Some of the things that Sam have faced has just astounded me... that he didn't agree to basic facts like, that the gender wage gape no longer exists, makes him a horrible sexist. Some of the things that I have heard from Sam I almost find unbelievable, but in the last decade I've spent my life working in a highly professional pharmacy setting or at arcades with a mostly male demographic of open minded people.

One of the videos Sandman said to advise a father about raising a NAWALT, it was abhorrent. He said that any female, like even a five year old, as soon as they are off to college they will be fucking and sucking as many penises as they can. Given the very few number of men I have been with, and even smaller that I have consented to be with, I cannot grasp someone actually believing that. He is just a jaded asshole who is very ignorant when it comes to females.

Sam was talking to me about how his father was rather absent in raising him in how to be a boy. He was not taught in how to stand up for himself and speak up. Not taught in how to do boy things... like maybe how to change a tire, or barter for a better price at a garage sale, or the various other things my dad taught me how to---god dammit my dad raised me like a fucking boy?! Ugh.... Well maybe this makes a little more sense... my father raised me like he would have a boy. As we went over things he wasn't taught we found out I was taught by my dad. It was humorous.

I like Sam as a person, in many ways, and he is kind to me, but I must remain reserved. He mentioned to me that he is romantically involved with other girls, plural, despite being a MGTOW- who many decide to give up on actual dating, and knowing that they are not for him, and he thinks that they are flawed... So I asked why is he dating them. And he said that he is studying them, or trying to learn from them... and it makes me question my friendship with him.

Which makes me question myself. Can I maintain a friendship with someone doing those things? I don't have many friends, so I like to spend time because I am lonely... but that is a terrible reason to keep such a person as a friend, ignoring such a flaw...The thing that kept me speaking to him though was that I hope perhaps I can help him. He seems to need someone to talk to for problems that he has. He has said to me that he doesn't have someone to talk to about many of the issues and feelings that he is dealing with.

But the girls he is dating are not nice people, so they deserve it, right?

Do they? It is the two wrongs making a right conundrum. But simply because I myself am female, I question if he remains friends with me to study me for some reason.