I get many of my medications that help me deal with my psychological issues through PAP, or patient assistant programs, essentially the drug companies help patients get the medications, and get to use it as a tax write-off.Two of them the companies send to the clinic I see my psychiatrist at, and looking at the expiration dates, they are bottles that would expire if they saw pharmacy shelves.
During my hiatus I had to go to the hospital. I couldn't urinate. I am still having issues with it, and it's painful. My phone has finally been shut off due to none-payment, so if my doctor's office calls back they will call my roommate's cell. My back began hurting more about four weeks ago, and it slowly has been hurting worse and worse, until I had to go to the hospital last week. An MRI showed nothing changed, so I am confused as to what is going on.
Emotionally I was in a bad place... That is why I did not blog. I cut myself badly, huge gashes in my arm. I actually was cutting in the ER waiting room and never was evaluated psychologically. But, they are not healing very well they are so deep. There was a really bad incident that occurred between me and my best friend... and then on top of that;
It is strange for me to have to actually have to take pain medication daily. It has grown so bad I am unsure if I will even try to venture out on Friday. This past Friday was interesting, I got to talking to an ex LVN at a bar (licensed vocational nurse), and he was familiar with what was wrong with me. Then he got drunk and was trying to feel me up and security had to remove him.
So World of Warcraft has been the only thing I have, I found a way to set up a laptop far away-ish, use my usb keyboard, and mouse, while lying veeeerrrryy slightly incline, with my knees propped up to supposedly help my back. Don't feed the trolls they say. Online, especially in games. I fed one, and had a spectacularly idiotic conversation that made little sense.
Right now I am watching a documentary about Westboro Baptist Church. I love the scene in God Bless America (Google for the Red-banner trailer, much better.) where they run over and attack the parody of Westboro. The fact that the documentary is so off-hands and does not try to argue or make a point against the inbred morons is good. It doesn't feed the trolls. That is why groups like Westboro are able to keep going.
So World of Warcraft and Netflix life is about to finally change some. Monday I start school, one class. I was given faulty info that I didn't need to hop online to register on day one that the classes opened, but that was incorrect, lol... ah, that isn't funny. I found some other colleges that are offering classes online that still have open seats and I have applied to all of them. I am hoping that by the time I am into the school, at least some of those online seats will be open.
This class on Monday though, it is in real life, in the classroom, which presents a huge mountain of problems. I am wheelchair bound at the moment and without a handicap placard. The college is kind of on a huge mountain actually, and the parking up top gets full. I can get dropped off with my chair I suppose, but handling the down ramps can be hard if they are graded too steeply. I am trying not to think about it, just show up to the class, see if I can do it, and if I can, keep going.
A dream I have had since highschool I am finally able to fulfill. I could not fulfill it before now because of physical conditions, but I have finally just given up that I will not be suffering in pain while attending a course. Next semester, perhaps I can try more courses. It is disgusting that I had to wait so many years to attend college because I have not had the money, because my father made too much money for me to qualify for any governmental financial aid. Shame on me for not getting married or having a baby.
